The rest of the story – Sept. 21st, 2013

22 Sep

Now I am back on track. Starting with page 41 of The Chocolate Bar.
I knew that my father was the only one who truly loved me but as I got older I also felt that his love was not enough. I needed protection, not only from the whole war experience but also from my parents. I noticed how weak and inept papa was compared to other men in our group. In other families if was the men who made decisions, although there really were no choices – all we could do was follow orders. But still, there were times when people managed to acquire some desperately need items and they seemed to be able to procure them by hook or crook, but in our family it was my mother who had the power. Even at an early age I realized that my survival depended on my mother. Who needed love when it didn’t feed you or protect you.
I would need to get my mother to love me and that meant I had to change who I was since she had made it clear that I was unacceptable in my natural state. When I could never measure up to her expectations I decided to at least create peace in the family by being obedient – that way my mother would protect me and my father would be free to love me. Love had to be earned, I decided – a tall order, considering we were in the middle of gunfire, bombs and homeless, cold and hungry.
I learned to depend only on myself by the time I reached 6-7 years old. Something, I felt necessary to practice all my life until I collapsed under the strain, as we will see later in the book.

1 Comment

Posted by on September 22, 2013 in The Rest of The Store...


One response to “The rest of the story – Sept. 21st, 2013

  1. Author Catherine Townsend-Lyon

    September 23, 2013 at 5:47 pm

    Hi Agathe,
    I really have to say, what impacted me the MOST about when you were little, was how you shared the *Children’s job of having to pull the Military Tags off of the dead servicemen before they were mass buried. WOW…..that shook me to my core! What a sight for a young child……I really enjoyed your book! God Bless, Author Catherine Townsend-Lyon



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